Script Spotlight 55: “Private Charles Lamb”

Since yesterday was Easter, and this coming Sunday is Orthodox Easter, there was one episode that immediately came to mind for this month’s script review, “Private Charles Lamb” (03×14). Last year, I joined the Best Care Anywhere Podcast episode to discuss this episode, and I realized that I have not written about it for the site. This is hard to believe because it has so many quotable lines including Henry saying “Abyssinia” and the M*A*S*H Matters outro line, “Here’s looking up your old address.” “Private Charles Lamb” came at the peak of the early seasons of M*A*S*H, and it is one that I recommend to people who have never seen the series before. But before I get into my thoughts, let’s look at the script for the episode.

The Script

Unfortunately, this week’s script isn’t among the most interesting in the collection. It doesn’t have any of the production documents. Because of that, I don’t have a the Shooting Schedule to see when and where each scene was filmed. I also don’t have any of the Call Sheets, so I can’t tell who was needed on set each day. Perhaps a Call Sheet could explain why Margaret was originally written in the script, but then she didn’t appear. Was Loretta Swit unavailable? A revised Call Sheet might have helped answer that question. One thing that is interesting about this script is how much was changed because of Margaret’s “trip to Tokyo.” There are several scenes that Margaret was supposed to be in, but those scenes were reworked (we’ll look at those in more detail in the next section). This script doesn’t have any markings, and I don’t know who it belonged to, so it is a pretty generic script.

Even though this is a “generic script,” it is fun to read the lines on the page and the stage directions. The actors of M*A*S*H have famously said that they stuck to the words as they were written on the page, especially in the Gelbart era. That is the case for this episode. The words spoken on screen mostly match what is on the page. That is a credit to the M*A*S*H writers because they knew how the words on the page would translate to the screen. Gelbart trusted the actors and the director to bring the pages to life, and they did week in and week out. Emotion can be hard to write on a page, so it was up to the actor to pull the emotion out of lines, and it was also up to the director to ensure the consistency of the emotion throughout a scene. As a director, Averback oversaw a great variety of episodes of M*A*S*H. And, even though his character was not the most popular, Larry Linville was extremely talented at making Frank Burns a character we loved to hate. It is difficult to play a character like Frank, and Linville did it brilliantly.

The Final Episode

The episode opens with Radar sneaking vegetables from the Mess Tent to feed to his “zoo.” He is stopped by Frank who questions what the pile of vegetables are for, but Radar is able to get past Frank and feed his animals. Suddenly, there’s a PA announcement calling everyone to the O.R., where they operate on a group of Greek soldiers and a few Americans. Hawkeye operates on a kid, Chapman, who shot himself in the leg to get off the line. Trapper and Hawkeye recognize the wound, but Frank does not. They want to keep it that way, but Frank does find out when Chapman confesses to him because he believes that Frank is Father Mulcahy. Frank plans to turn Chapman in, but Trapper and Hawkeye talk him out of it by telling him that impersonating a priest will also get him into trouble. Meanwhile, the Greek commander is grateful to the 4077th for caring for his men, and in celebration of the Greek Easter, he arranges for Greek food and alcohol be sent to the 4077th. One of the delicacies brought in is a lamb. Radar can’t bear to see it killed, so he arranges for it to be discharged by Henry as “Private Charles Lamb.” By the time they realize the lamb is missing, it is already on its way to Iowa. Hawkeye and Trapper have to improvise, and the party is a success…even without the main course.

As I mentioned in the introduction, there are so many great, quotable lines in this episode, but I also like how well balanced it is. The Greek Easter celebration and missing lamb are funny and well thought out. As is the story of Chapman. Hawkeye’s speech to Chapman about making sure that “that guy doesn’t hurt you again” demonstrates his empathy for his patients. This is not surprising for Hawkeye, but it is well written. Radar being an animal lover had been established at this point in the series, but I like that they kept showing his animal collection grow. His determination to save the lamb by mixing drugs and forging paperwork is dedication! In the scene where Trapper and Hawkeye are talking to Frank about impersonating a priest, I like how Trapper tells Hawkeye to “hold it.” Hawkeye isn’t taking the situation seriously, but Trapper understands the gravity of the situation. I wish the writers had written this version of Trapper more often. The only thing that felt off with the episode was Hawkeye’s “Dear Dad” voiceover at the beginning. It only served to move the plot along and didn’t really contribute to the story as in other “Dear Dad” episodes. Some other observations in this episode are that, even though Father Mulcahy is mentioned, William Christopher does not appear. Klinger is not in the episode, and neither is Loretta Swit, but more on her in a moment.

Since the script in the collection is a final draft without the revised pages, there are several differences between the script and final episode. In the opening scene between between Radar and Frank, Frank originally asks if Radar thinks he is a “horses ass,” but this was toned down to “jackass” in the final episode (page 1). On pages 2-3, we see a scene between Frank and Margaret that didn’t appear in the episode. Then, the scene of Hawkeye and Trapper in the Swamp, before being called into surgery, was originally longer (pages 3-5). Because Swit was not in the episode, the scene between Frank and Henry in his office complaining about the Greek celebration was originally between Margaret and Frank (pages 19 – 21). Finally, the tag was completely different with everyone being hungover, and the Greek commander arriving for a second round (page 36).

There are certain episodes of M*A*S*H that rank very highly with fans, and this is one of them. There are some outlandish scenes, something that happened more frequently in the early seasons, but the balance of comedy and drama was well done. I really appreciate the callout of other United Nations soldiers fighting in Korea, and how well the storyline with the self-inflicted wound was handled. Set that along side a party and the members of the 4077th having good food, it is a recipe for a strong episode! While this script may not have all the bells and whistles of some of the others I’ve featured on the site, the episode more than makes up for it. Season three of M*A*S*H, like seasons two and four, offer some of the best episodes of the series, and it is because of the strong writing and memorable scenes, and “Private Charles Lamb” delivers on both.