Season 5 (1976-77)

Regular Cast: Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher

Bug Out (U-801-802)
Episode 97 (05×01)
1-Hour Episode, Split for Synication
Aired September 21, 1976
Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Ricahrd Lee Sung, Frances Fong, Don Eitner, Barry Cahill, Peter Zapp, James Lough, Eileen Saki, Ko-Ko Tani

The latest rumor around camp is they are going go bug-out because the Chinese are coming. When Col. Potter gathers the personnel to dispel the rumor, he receives work the camp is indeed bugging out. Hawkeye, Margaret, and Radar stay behind with a soldier who has had a difficult spinal operation and have a final drink of Rosie’s. Col. Potter finds a new location with a building, the only problem, the building is occupied by a group of ladies of the evening. They wind up trading Klinger’s dresses for the building. After the wounded man is evacuated, everyone returns and gets the camp put back together.

Margaret’s Engagement (U-803)
Episode 98 (05×02)
Aired September 28, 1976
Written by Gary Markowitz
Directed by Alan Alda
Guest Stars: None

When Margaret returns from Tokyo, she says she has big news. She is engaged to be married. Frank acts as though he is happy for her. Margaret, meanwhile, delivers a report on how the 4077th compares to other units. Frank is upset that Margaret is now engaged and tries whatever he can to get her back. Frank begins to lose his mind and captures a group of “prisoners.”

Out of Sight, Out of Mind (U-806)
Episode 99 (05×03)
Aired October 5, 1976
Written by Ken Levine and Davis Isaacs
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Tom Sullivan, Judy Farrell, Enid Kent, Dudley Knight, Michael Cedar

When Hawkeye agrees to relight the stove in the nurses’ tent, the stove blows up in his face damaging his eyes. Hawkeye loses use of his eyes while they are covered to recover. He begins to become independent despite the loss of his eyes. Meanwhile, Hawkeye, BJ, Radar, and Klinger play a prank on Frank after he cheats in a baseball bet.

Lt. Radar O’Reilly (U-805)
Episode 100 (05×04)
Aired October 12, 1976
Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell
Directed by Alan Rafkin
Guest Stars: Sandy Kenyon, Johnny Kaymer, Raymond Chao

Hawkeye and BJ pull some strings to get Radar promoted to lieutenant after an officer is unable to pay his poker debt. Radar, however, does not like the way he is treated as an officer and wants to be demoted.

The Nurses (U-809)
Episode 101 (05×05)
Aired October 19, 1976
Written by Linda Bloodworth
Directed by Joan Darling
Guest Stars: Linda Kelsey, Gregory Harrison, Mary Jo Catlett, Carol Lawson Locatell, Patricia Sturges

With the heat, the shortage of supplies, and the lack of water, everyone is upset. The nurses make fudge in their tent and seem to be getting on Margaret’s nerves. Meanwhile, one of the nurse’s husband shows up and Hawkeye and BJ set them up in Margaret’s tent for a night. As a distraction, Hawkeye and BJ try to get Frank to keep bothering Margaret. Margaret has to sleep with the nurses.

The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan (U-808)
Episode 102 (05×06)
Aired October 26, 1976
Written by Allan Katz and Don Reo; story by Gene Reynolds
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Edward Winter, June Kim, Le Quynh, Susan Bredhoff

When Margaret goes off to help a Korean villager deliver a baby, everyone assumes she is missing. Col. Flagg is called in to help locate Margaret, but assumes she was captured by the Chinese. Meanwhile, Frank accidentally shoots BJ in the leg.

Dear Sigmund (U-810)
Episode 103 (05×07)
Aired November 9, 1976
Written by Alan Alda
Directed by Alan Alda
Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Charles Frank, Bart Breverman, Sal Viscuso, J. Andrew Kenny, Jennifer Davis

Dr. Freedman is at the 4077th and seems to be depressed. Hawkeye and BJ discover he is writing a letter to Sigmund Freud describing the members of the 4077th. Meanwhile, a rash of practical jokes plagues the 4077th, a lost pilot has lost perspective of the war, a young, wounded girl is treated, an ambulance driver gets killed trying to evacuate wounded, and Frank is worried about possible air-raids.

Mulcahy’s War (U-812)
Episode 104 (05×08)
Aired November 16, 1976
Written by Richard Cogan
Directed by George Tyne
Guest Stars: Brian Byers, Ric Mancini, Richard Foronjy, Ray Poss

Frank and Margaret are at each other’s throats. Frank discovers a wounded man shot himself and Frank operates on a wounded dog. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy speaks with a wounded soldier who feels Father is not qualified enough to talk to since he has not seen the front. When Radar has to go pick up a wounded soldier, Father disobeys orders and goes with him. Father performs an emergency tracheotomy on the man on the side of the road with only Hawkeye to guide him over the radio.

The Korean Surgeon (U-814)
Episode 105 (05×09)
Aired November 23, 1976
Written by Bill Idelson
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Soon Tech Oh, Robert Ito, Larry Hama, Richard Russell Ramos, Dennis Troy

When a wounded POW arrives at the camp, Hawkeye and BJ discover he is a surgeon. They pull some strings and disguise him as a South Korean doctor. Frank and Margaret are suspicious of the new doctor. The whole thing works well until he recognizes some enemy soldiers who take Frank and collect supplies. Col. Potter discovers he is an enemy and has him turned over to the MPs.

Hawkeye Get Your Gun (U-813)
Episode 106 (05×10)
Aired November 30, 1976
Written by Jay Folb; story by Gene Reynolds and Jay Folb
Directed by William Jurgensen
Guest Stars: Mako, Richard Doyle, Jae Woo Lee, Thomas Botosan, Phyllis Katz, Carmine Scelza

Hawkeye and Col. Potter go to a South Korean hospital to help out and deliver supplies, despite Frank’s argument that the colonel is too old. Klinger tries to get out of the Army by being a gypsy. While returning from the hospital, Hawkeye and Col. Potter get stranded and come under enemy fire. Hawkeye refuses to fire his gun.

The Colonel’s Horse (U-811)
Episode 107 (05×11)
Aired December 7, 1976
Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by Burt Metcalfe
Guest Stars: None

When the colonel goes on R&R, his horse has a case of colic, and the camp has to work together to save her. Meanwhile, Margaret has to have her appendix taken out and requests Hawkeye do the surgery. Klinger acts depressed as a new ploy to get out of the Army.

Exorcism (U-815)
Episode 108 (05×12)
Aired December 14, 1976
Written by Jay Folb; story by Gene Reynolds and Jay Folb
Directed by Alan Alda
Guest Stars: Virginia Ann Lee, James Canning, Phillip Ahn

When a string of bad luck seems to hit the camp after Col. Potters orders a spirit post set up in the middle of camp to be moved. Meanwhile, a Korean man refuses to have an operation until the camp has been exorcised. The camps luck seems to change after the exorcism takes place.

Hawk’s Nightmare (U-804)
Episode 109 (05×13)
Aired December 21, 1976
Written by Burt Prelutsky
Directed by Burt Metcalfe
Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Patricia Stevens, Sean Roche

Hawkeye begins to walk in his sleep and begins to have nightmares about his childhood friends. Hawkeye becomes afraid to go to sleep and he feels the need to call the childhood friends he sees dying in his dreams. Dr. Freedman comes to visit with Hawkeye, and he convinces Hawkeye he is not crazy.

The Most Unforgettable Characters (U-818)
Episode 110 (05×14)
Aired January 4, 1977
Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs
Directed by Burt Metcalfe
Guest Stars: Jeff Maxwell

Radar is taking a correspondence course to learn how to spice up his writing. He later gives up the course after Col. Potter gives him some advice. It is Frank’s birthday and Hawkeye and BJ have a fight as a present to Frank, but the fight momentarily becomes real. Meanwhile, Klinger tries to get out by engulfing himself in flames.

38 Across (U-821)
Episode 111 (05×15)
Aired January 11, 1977
Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by Burt Metcalfe
Guest Stars: Dick O’Neill, Oliver Clark

Hawkeye and BJ try and complete The New York Times Crossword puzzle but cannot solve one of the clues. Hawkeye decides to call a friend of his in the Navy who comes to the camp, with an Admiral, misunderstanding what Hawkeye was requesting. Meanwhile, Frank plays with a new toy and Klinger tries to get out by eating a Jeep.

Ping Pong (U-817)
Episode 112 (05×16)
Aired January 18, 1977
Written by Sid Dorfman
Directed by William Jurgensen
Guest Stars: Richards Narita, Frank Maxwell, Sachiko Penny Lee

The camp holds the intercamp Ping Pong tournament. The 4077th’s man wins the tournament. He is a young Korean who plans to get married. Hawkeye and BJ loan him the money for the engagement ring. When he goes to Seoul he gets “drafted” into the South Korean army and gets wounded. The young couple eventually gets married. Meanwhile, a colonel friend of Col. Potter is in Post-Op. Potter learns his friend was where he should not have been and could have gotten men killed.

End Run (U-816)
Episode 113 (05×17)
Aired January 25, 1977
Written by John D. Hess
Directed by Harry Morgan
Guest Stars: Henry Brown, Johnny Haymer

When a young football player has his leg amputated, he wants to end his life, but a visit from Radar convinces him to change his mind. Meanwhile, Frank organizes a fight between Zale and Klinger.

Hanky Panky (U-822)
Episode 114 (05×18)
Aired February 1, 1977
Written by Gene Reynolds
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Ann Sweeney

BJ comforts a nurse going through a divorce by spending the night with her. BJ punishes himself, but he truly helps the nurse. Margaret is upset because she has not received a letter from her fiancé. Margaret is upset to learn he is sick and, in the hospital, and is unable to go be at his side. Klinger tries to get his Section-8 by confessing to crimes he did not commit.

Hepatitis (U-823)
Episode 115 (05×19)
Aired February 8, 1977
Written by Alan Alda
Directed by Alan Alda
Guest Stars: Barbara James

When Father Mulcahy comes down with a case of hepatitis, Hawkeye has to take blood from each member of the camp and give them a shot. Meanwhile, a psychological issue plagues Hawkeye in the form of a back problem. BJ performs a very difficult surgery using the Journal of American Surgery as a guide.

The General’s Practitioner (U-807)
Episode 116 (05×20)
Aired February 15, 1977
Written by Burt Prelutsky
Directed by Alan Rafkin
Guest Stars:  Edward T. Binns, Leonard Stone, Suesie Elene

When a 3-star general wants Hawkeye as his personal physician, he tries anyway to get out of it. Meanwhile, Radar takes care of a Korean woman and her baby after the baby’s father gets discharged.

Movie Tonight (U-824)
Episode 117 (05×21)
Aired February 22, 1977
Written by Gene Reynolds, Don Reo, Allan Katz, and Jay Folb
Directed by Burt Metcalfe
Guest Stars: Enid Kent, Judy Farrell, Jeffrey Kramer

The camp has come down with a case of the grump, but everything looks good when the camp receives a real movie. The movie is full of splices and to fill the time they have a Father Mulcahy sound alike contest and sing.

Souvenirs (U-819)
Episode 118 (05×22)
Aired March 1, 1977
Written by Burt Prelutsky; story by Burt Prelutsky and Reinhold Weege
Directed by Joshua Shelley
Guest Stars: Michael Bell, Brian Dennehy, Scott Mulhern

Margaret tries to get a ruby ring back from Frank, Frank bought a priceless vase from a peddler, and Hawkeye and BJ try to put a stop to a man selling war souvenirs. His souvenirs are collected by young Korean children who are being wounded. Klinger tires to prove he is crazy by sitting on the platform over the basketball goal.

Post Op (U-825)
Episode 119 (05×23)
Aired March 8, 1977
Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs; story by Gene Reynolds and Jay Folb
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Hilly Hicks, Sal Viscuso, Andy Romano

The 4077th is short on blood and they are having trouble getting any from HQ. With more and more wounded arriving, the blood is disappearing quickly. The 4077th gets a visit from a medic who once tried to steal penicillin. One of Frank’s patients has issues. A young soldier does not want to return to combat. Klinger makes a moustache for a soldier who’s had to be shaved and another soldier falls in love with Margaret.

Margaret’s Marriage (U-820)
Episode 120 (05×24)
Aired March 15, 1977
Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Beeson Carroll, Judy Farrell, Lynne Marie Stewart, Ray Poss, Kellye Nakahara

After Frank makes comments about Margaret’s long engagement, Margaret convinces Donald they should get married. Donald comes to the 4077th to personally thank Frank for pressing the issue. They decide to get married at the camp. The men hold have a party for Donald and the nurses throw one for Margaret. Hawkeye and BJ play a joke and put Donald in a full body cast telling him he broke both of his legs. The wedding is interrupted by a new batch of wounded and no one gets a chance to tell Margaret or Donald the cast is a fake before they leave for their honeymoon.