What is it?
Alda, Alan. Never Have Your Dog Stuffed and Other Things I’ve Learned. New York: Random House, 2005.
Why should M*A*S*H fans care?
Alan Alda was at the center of M*A*S*H on camera and behind the scenes. In his first memoir, Alda discusses his life outside of acting. He tells stories from his childhood, family life, activism, and discusses life lessons. While the book is not really about M*A*S*H, there are plenty of insights into the man who played Hawkeye.
As a M*A*S*H fan, what part(s) should I read?
If you were hoping for a chapter on Hawkeye in Alda’s book, you will be disappointed. Alda already wrote about M*A*S*H in his book The Last Days of M*A*S*H. There are some M*A*S*H references as he makes connections to life lessons, but there isn’t a dedicated chapter. That’s okay though because it is interesting to read about other aspects of his life outside of M*A*S*H.
TL;DR Review
In his first memoir, Alda dives into the lessons he learned as the child of an actor and a woman who suffered from a mental illness. He explores how his mother’s issues followed him throughout his life as he pursued an acting career of his own, got married, had children, became an activist, and explored the world. Alda’s desire to learn and entertain have fueled a successful career as a writer, director, and actor on both television and on the big screen. Never Have Your Dog Stuffed and Other Things I’ve Learned is a witty and poignant memoir of a man who is far more than “that guy from M*A*S*H.”
Full Review
In 2005, I was a senior in high school, and I remember when it was announced that Alan Alda was going to release a memoir. I was a fan of M*A*S*H, and I was excited to learn more about the man who wore Hawkeye Pierce’s boots for eleven years. Most 18 year olds aren’t buying memoirs of actors, but I bought the book as soon as it was released, and I read it in a weekend! At first, I was surprised that there was very little in the book about M*A*S*H, but he had already written a book about the show. In fact, I owned a copy of The Last Days of M*A*S*H at the time. I read the book with great curiosity because I found his writing to be very entertaining. I bought the book as a M*A*S*H fan, but after finishing Never Have Your Dog Stuffed and Other Things I’ve Learned, I was an Alan Alda fan too.
Alda’s memoir beings with the strong opening line, “My mother didn’t try to stab my father until I was six, but she must have shown signs of oddness before that.” After reading that, how could you not want to continue? He discusses his childhood in vivid detail. His mother’s paranoid schizophrenia played a major role in his upbringing. Her good days were often followed by outbursts which was difficult for a kid to contend with. His father, actor Robert Alda, was part of a burlesque show, and young Alda often watched from the wings. He watched as father entertained the crowd in between parades of dancing, topless women. The lights and sounds of the audience had a profound impact on him, and he began acting himself. In high school, he performed in school plays, and he would later find his way to Broadway, television, and motion pictures.
Alda’s acting career is not heavily featured in the book. He shares more anecdotes about his personal life and how that led to him becoming an actor and activist. Alda’s book is divided into three parts. The first two parts are focused on his early life and his family. His successful career is barely mentioned, and when it is, it is in passing. Some early book reviews found this to be strange, but knowing how Alda used to fly home every weekend to be with his family while he was filming M*A*S*H, the book demonstrates where his priorities truly were. Family and life came first. Writing, directing and acting were a nice bonus.
Alda dedicates the third part of the book to discussing a medical emergency he had in Chile in 2003. He was filming an episode of Scientific American Frontiers, and he needed an emergency surgery to remove an intestinal blockage. The problem was, he was in the middle of nowhere, so he was rushed the nearest hospital. It was the not the most advanced medical institution, but it had to work because, without the surgery, he would die. The surgeon explained what he needed to do, and Alda said, “You’re going to do an end-to-end anastomosis?” The doctor was shocked, and asked how he knew that. Alda replied, “Oh, I did many of them on M*A*S*H.” While funny in the moment, he took a serious lesson from that night in Chile. Before the surgery, he realized that he might not survive. His main focus was leaving a message behind for his wife and kids just in case he didn’t. In that moment, he realized that he wasn’t afraid of death, or change for that matter, he was afraid of not getting his family a final message. Once he realized that he didn’t fear the biggest change, death, nothing scared him. It is a powerful lesson.
Alda’s memoir is unlike other celebrity memoirs in that he doesn’t brag or gloat about his successes. In fact, for a memoir about an actor, there’s hardly any mentions of acting! In a way, that is refreshing. Through interviews and his body of work, we knew Alda the actor, but here, we meet Alda the man. So why is the book called “never have your dog stuffed?” When Alda was eight years old, his beloved cocker spaniel died. They had a taxidermist preserve the dog, but the results were…well, you’ll have to read the book to find out! Never Have Your Dog Stuffed and Other Things I’ve Learned is still in print and can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or other booksellers. You can also pick up pre-owned copies, in hardback or paperback, online.
The M*A*S*H Historian 