Season 2 (1973-74)

Divided We Stand (K-401)
Episode 25 (02×01)
Aired September 15, 1973
Written by Larry Gelbart
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Herb Voland, Anthony Holland

General Clayton is worried about the effect the war is having on the 4077^th. The general sends a psychiatrist to determine whether the group should be broken up. The general advises the psychiatrist to only tell Henry what is doing. After the psychiatrist arrives, Henry tells the entire camp to be on their best behavior. Despite trying to cover up the eccentric style of the 4077^th, the psychiatrist sees through the whole show. It is not until an OR session that the psychiatrist realizes they are an awesome surgical team.

5 O’Clock Charlie (K-403)
Episode 26 (02×02)
Aired September 22, 1973
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Norman Tokar
Guest Stars:

A North Korean bomber is trying to knock out an ammo dump near the camp and attacks the same time every day. The camp uses the occasion to place bets, but Frank pushes Henry to call General Clayton and request a 40mm gun. The general approves the request after his jeep is blown up by the bomber. Frank takes charge of the gun, and winds up shooting the ammo dump instead of the plane.

Radar’s Report (K-402)
Episode 27 (02×03)
Aired September 29, 1973
Written by Laurence Marks
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Joan Van Ark, Allan Arbus, Tom Dever

Radar is writing the Weekly Activity Report and Personnel Record. The events included in the report include: a wounded Chinese POW attacks a nurse in OR and ultimately causes the death of Trapper’s patient, Hawkeye tends to the injured nurse’s every need (he wants to marry her), Frank and Margaret demand Henry to do something about Klinger, and he is examined by Dr. Freedman.

For the Good of the Outfit (K-404)
Episode 28 (02×04)
Aired October 6, 1973
Written by Jerry Mayer
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Frank Aletter, Herb Voland

When a Korean village full of civilians is bombed, the Army covers it up as an enemy attack. Hawkeye and Trapper discover the artillery is American. They file a report with command and an investigator takes their evidence and continues the cover-up. Hawkeye tries to enlist help from a Senator in the states when he discovers he is being censored and under arrest. General Clayton comes to the camp to see Hawkeye and Trapper, but Frank and Margaret present their case and convince the general to pursue action.

Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde (K-405)
Episode 29 (02×05)
Aired October 13, 1973
Written by Alan Alda and Robert Klane
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars:

Due to severe sleep deprivation, Hawkeye begins to act odd. When batches of wounded arrive, Hawkeye is ready for the OR, but after not sleeping for days, Hawkeye begins to ponder the cause of the war. After attending Frank’s orientation lecture, Hawkeye gets the idea the whole war is being fought over bathrooms. After an attempt by Trapper and Radar to give Hawkeye sedatives, Hawkeye decides to end the war by sending their latrine to the North Koreans. There is only one hitch in the plan, General Clayton is in the latrine at the time.

Kim (K-407)
Episode 30 (02×06)
Aired October 20, 1973
Written by Marc Mandel, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks
Directed by William Wiard
Guest Stars: Leslie Evans, Edgar Raymond Miller, Ray Poss, Maggie Roswell, Momo Yashima

A wounded young boy arrives at the camp. Trapper ponders the idea of adopting the boy. He writes to his wife and the camp stalls the boy being sent to Sister Teresa’s orphanage but having a child in camp is a new experience. Trapper’s wife’s and daughter’s love the idea. After climbing into the middle of the minefield, the group has to save him. Trapper saves him from the middle of the field only to have Sister Teresa show up with the boy’s mother.

L.I.P. (Local Indigenous Personnel) (K-406)
Episode 31 (02×07)
Aired October 27, 1973
Written by Carl Kleinschmitt
Directed by William Wiard
Guest Stars: Corinne Camacho, Burt Young, Jerry Zaks

When Hawkeye finally gets a date with the nurse who has turned him down on many occasions, Hawkeye must delay the date for business. A corporal wants to get married because the soldier and a Korean have a baby and he is being discharged. Hawkeye helps with all the paperwork, and his date is interrupted by and interview by a CID man to approve the marriage. Frank and Margaret protest Hawkeye’s involvement. When Hawkeye finally gets to his date, he discovers the nurse of his dreams is not exactly what he thought.

The Trial of Henry Blake (K-408)
Episode 32 (02×08)
Aired November 3, 1973
Written by McLean Stevenson, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Hope Summers, Robert F. Smimon, Jack Aaron

Henry and Radar are summoned to regimental headquarters after Frank and Margaret file charges against Henry. He is questioned about the gurney races on derby day, Radar’s selling of wing-tipped shoes, and Klinger’s attempted desertion (as a big red bird with fuzzy pink feet). The most serious charges are falsifying records and giving aid and comfort to the enemy. The charge is due to Henry helping an American nurse working in Korea. The charges are dropped after Hawkeye and Trapper go AWOL and bring the nurse to the trial.

Dear Dad…Three (K-409)
Episode 33 (02×09)
Aired November 10, 1973
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Mills Watson, Sivi Aberg, Arthue Abelson

Hawkeye writes home to his father about the events at the 4077^th. He writes about: Trapper and Frank playing cards, a soldier in the OR who does not want to get the “wrong color of blood” (Trapper and Hawkeye fool him into thinking it is possible to get the wrong type blood), operating on a man with a unexploded grenade in his body, happy hour in the Swamp, watching a home movie sent to Henry by his wife, one of Frank and Margaret’s dates, and a monthly staff meeting.

The Sniper (K-410)
Episode 34 (02×10)
Aired November 17, 1973
Written by Richard M. Powell
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Teri Garr, Marcia Gelman, Dennis Troy

A sniper begins shooting into the camp bringing all work at the camp to a halt. The sniper interrupts Frank practicing with his pistol and Hawkeye’s picnic with a new nurse. While the camp is trying to take cover, Henry is trapped in the shower with Radar. Wounded arrive and the only way to bring them into the hospital safely is to surrender, but the sniper shoots on the camp’s white flag, but can get the wounded in. After calling headquarters for help, they are told they cannot get any help until the following day. That night, Margaret mentions to Frank that a real man would be out hunting for the sniper. Hawkeye finds Frank out hiding in the compound with his gun. Headquarters sends a chopper that shoots at and wounds the sniper.

Carry On, Hawkeye (K-411)
Episode 35 (02×11)
Aired November 24, 1973
Written by Bernard Dilbert, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Lynette Mettey, Gwen Farrell, Marcia Gelman

When the entire camp is plagued by a flu epidemic, the hospital is understaffed. With Trapper, Frank, and Henry down with the flu, Hawkeye is the only surgeon. When headquarters cannot spare any surgeons, Hawkeye has to carry on alone. Margaret and Hawkeye oversee the hospital and give each other experimental flu shots. The shot makes Hawkeye sick but carries on until all the wounded have been cared for. Sick in post-op, the camp presents Hawkeye with a special autographed scroll (a roll of toilet paper!).

The Incubator (K-412)
Episode 36 (02×12)
Aired December 1, 1973
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Robert F. Simon, Logan Ramsey, Vic Tayback

After a wild party, Hawkeye and Trapper have to tend to their patients with a monster hang-over. One of the patients requires a blood culture that must be sent to Tokyo. Hawkeye and Trapper ask Henry if they could request an incubator. When a quartermaster officer arrives to review their request, they are denied after being told an incubator would be a luxury. Radar finds three at a warehouse but the major in charge refuses to give one up, the commanding officer wants to charge $700 for one, and General Mitchell knows nothing about it. They finally get the incubator but only after trading Henry’s new barbecue.

Deal Me Out (K-413)
Episode 37 (02×13)
Aired December 8, 1973
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Pat Morita, Allan Arbus, Edward Winter, John Ritter

While a poker game is going on in the Swamp, the doctors are pulled away from the game on many occasions to deal with matters. Some of the situations include: Radar wants a jeep to go to a bar but has a run in with the fall down king of Korea, Frank delays a surgery on a CID man because another CID man is not present but Hawkeye and Trapper operate anyway, a CID man arrives and questions Hawkeye and Trapper about the operation and joins the poker game, and one of franks patients holds him hostage in the shower.

Hot Lips and Empty Arms (K-414)
Episode 38 (02×14)
Aired December 15, 1973
Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: William Christopher, Sheila Lauritsen, Kellye Nakahara

After receiving a letter from a friend, Margaret realizes what she has in her life is not want she expected. She requests a transfer from Henry who is watching a dirty movie with Hawkeye and Trapper. Henry approves her transfer. Hawkeye and Trapper bring gin to Margaret’s tent as a farewell. Margaret breaks off her relationship with Frank and continues to drink. When Margaret is very drunk, Hawkeye and Trapper help to sober her up. Margaret changes her mind about leaving the 4077^th.

Officers Only (K-415)
Episode 39 (02×15)
Aired December 22, 1973
Written by Ed Jurist
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Robert F. Simon, Robert Weaver, Clyde Kusatsu

After operating on General Mitchell’s son, the general wishes to reward the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper settle for 3 days in Tokyo. When they return, they discover Frank had arranged with the general for an Officers’ Club. The enlisted men are hacked off when the club is restricted. Hawkeye and Trapper work to get club open for everyone.

Henry in Love (K-416)
Episode 40 (02×16)
Aired January 5, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Katherine Baumann, Odessa Cleveland, Sheila Lauritsen, William Christopher

When Henry returns from is R&R, he tells Hawkeye and Trapper that he has fallen in love with a woman half is age. When his new love is scheduled to come for a visit, Henry tries to make himself appear to be younger. When she finally arrives, Henry shows her off around camp, but when she is alone with Hawkeye she kisses him. Henry realizes he is more in love with his wife before Hawkeye has to tell Henry about the kiss.

For Want of a Boot (K-417)
Episode 41 (02×17)
Aired January 12, 1974
Written by Sheldon Keller
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Michael Lerner, Suzanne Zenor, Johnny Kaymer

Hawkeye has a hole in the soul of his boot. It makes it very difficult to walk through the compound. In order to get the boots, he has to get the supply sergeant an appointment with the dentist, get the dentist a pass to Tokyo, get Margaret off Henry’s bath, give Frank a surprise birthday party, get a cake for the party from Radar, get Radar a date with a nurse, get the nurse a hair dryer from Klinger who wants a discharge. When Frank refuses to sign Klinger’s discharge, everything falls apart.

Operation Noselift (K-418)
Episode 42 (02×18)
Aired January 19, 1974
Written by Erik Tarloff
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Stuart Margolin, Todd Susman, William Christopher

After a soldier in the camp confesses to Father Mulcahy that is nose is the root of his misbehavior, Hawkeye gets is friend, who is a famous plastic surgeon, to operate on the trouble soldier. Margaret and Frank believe something fishy is going on when the plastic surgeon arrives at a field hospital. The surgeon falls in love with Margaret. After performing the surgery, Hawkeye and Trapper devise a plan to hide who has had the surgery.

The Chosen People (K-419)
Episode 43 (02×19)
Aired January 26, 1974
Written by Laurence Marks, Sheldon Keller, and Larry Gelbart
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Pat Morita, Clare Nono, Dennis Robertson, Jay Jay Jue, Jerry Fujikawa

When the 4077^th becomes home to a Korean family and its cow, Henry tries to convince them to leave. When he is unsuccessful, Frank contacts Civilian Affairs to have them relocated. Henry, meanwhile, is dealing with a Korean mother who claims Radar is the father of her baby. People begin to treat Radar differently when they think he is a father. When blood tests confirm Radar is NOT the father, Civilian Affairs arrives to move the refugee family.

As You Were (K-420)
Episode 44 (02×20)
Aired February 2, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Patricia Stevens

When there is a lull in the action, the member of the 4077^th do what they can to fight the boredom. Radar plays the piano in the Officer’s club, Henry gets a tan, Frank lines up all the bottles on the tables in the Mess Tent, Klinger tries harder to get discharged, Hawkeye and Trapper close Frank in a box, Figures “A” and “B” return for another Henry Blake sex lecture and Hawkeye and Trapper dress as guerillas. When Frank asks Hawkeye and Trapper to operate on his hernia, the war interrupts before Hawkeye and Trapper can begin. When the camp comes under fire, Hawkeye decides to put Frank in post-op at an angle in hopes the hernia will correct itself. Frank does need surgery, and the 4077^th delivers a baby.

Crisis (K-421)
Episode 45 (02×21)
Aired February 9, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Jeff Maxwell, Alberta Jay

When the 4077^th supply line is cut, the group must adapt to extreme conditions. Each member of the group is assigned a temporary job. In order to conserve energy, the nurses all sleep in one tent while the men sleep in the Swamp one night and Henry’s tent the next. Even though they were told no wounded were to be expected, the 4077^th receives a fresh batch of wounded, furthering the difficult shortages. While in OR, much needed supplies finally arrive. Despite the arrival of the much-needed supplies, Henry’s office is the desperate need of furnishing!

George (K-422)
Episode 46 (02×22)
Aired February 16, 1974
Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Richard Ely, George Simmons

After noticing the bruises on a wounded solider, Hawkeye finds out the soldier was beaten up by members of his company. Frank discovers, after the solider tells Hawkeye, the soldier has a secret past. Even though his buddies found out, the soldier wishes to return to his unit and complete his tour of duty. When Frank tries to have the soldier discharged, Hawkeye and Trapper convince Frank to ease up after he dishes some secrets from his past.

Mail Call (K-423)
Episode 47 (02×23)
Aired February 23, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Alan Alda
Guest Stars: Dennis Troy, Sheila Lauritsen, William Christopher

The members of the 4077^th begin to act differently after receiving mail from home. Trapper receives a photo of his daughters and wants to go home, Hawkeye receives a sweater from his (nonexistent) sister, Henry’s wife wants him to balance her check book, Frank receives a letter from his stock broker which Hawkeye and Trapper take advantage of by making Frank believe the fictitious Pioneer Aviation, Margaret wants Frank to consider divorces his wife, Klinger tries to convince Henry to give him a discharge, and Radar receives a letter from his new pen-pal.

A Smattering of Intelligence (K-424)
Episode 48 (02×24)
Aired March 2, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Larry Gelbart
Guest Stars: Edward Winter, Bill Fletcher

When Col. Flagg arrives at the 4077^th, he is there to find a supposed security leak. Trapper’s friend, a G2 man, arrives at camp to inquire as to what Col. Flagg is looking for. With two intelligence men on camp, Henry gets confused. Hawkeye and Trapper realize these men are chasing each other’s tails and decide to give them both something to go after by doctoring Frank’s personnel file.

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