Season 3 (1974-75)

The General Flipped at Dawn (B-308)
Episode 49 (03×01)
Aired September 10, 1974
Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by Larry Gelbart
Guest Stars: Harry Morgan, Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Lynnette Mettey, Theodore Wilson, Brad Trumbull, Dennis Erdman

When the new commanding general comes to investigate the 4077^th, the camp discovers the general is nuts. The general keeps making changes to the life at the camp. Some clues to his craziness include: having a siren on his jeep, commenting on Frank’s nose-hair, snapping at Radar, believing Klinger is his wife, demanding that Henry reuse dirty tongue depressors, moving the camp closer to the front, and his various off comments. After catching Hawkeye with a nurse in civilian clothing and after Hawkeye orders a chopper to leave against the general’s orders, General Steele presses charges, but the charges are not pressed when the general leaves the camp…singing.

Rainbow Bridge (B-301)
Episode 50 (03×02)
Aired September 17, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Mako, Leland Sun, Bobbie Mitchell, Loudon Wainwright III

After getting word the Chinese have agreed to turn over some wounded GIs to the 4077^th, Henry decides to send Henry, Frank, Klinger, and Radar to pick them up deep inside enemy territory. Hawkeye and Trapper have their R&R plans put on hold, and Frank ignores the terms of the agreement by bringing a gun.

Officer of the Day (B-307)
Episode 51 (03×03)
Aired September 24, 1974
Written by Laurence Marks
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Edward Winter, Dennis Troy, Jeff Maxwell, Jerry Fujikawa, Tad Horino, Richard Lee Sung, Mitchell Sakamoto, Norman Hamano, Mary Katherine Peters, Tom Lawrence

Hawkeye is named Officer of the Day against his will while Henry is away on R&R. Hawkeye now has to figure out how to do a job that has many facets. His adventures include: signing reports, changing the guard, authorizing the treatment of Local Indigenous Personnel, the disappearance of Radar’s teddy bear, two children with sticky fingers, and a visit from Col. Flagg.

Iron Guts Kelly (B-304)
Episode 52 (03×04)
Aired October 1, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: James Gregory, Keen Curtis, Bobbie Mitchell, Byron Chung, Alberto Jay, Jeff Maxwell, Dennis Troy

The 4077^th is going to be inspected by the famous General Iron Guts Kelly. The general makes quite an impression on the camp. Frank and Margaret want a picture and the general wants Margaret. Margaret breaks into the Swamp early in the morning to enlist the help of Hawkeye and Trapper. The general dies in Margaret’s tent. The general’s aide has an idea of how he died, but he wants him to die in battle, so he enlists Radar’s help to find a battle for the general to “die” in.

O.R. (B-306)
Episode 53 (03×05)
Aired October 8, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Allan Arbus, Odessa Cleveland, Bobbie Mitchell, Bobby Herbeck, Orlando Dole, Jeanne Schulherr, Roy Goldman, Leland Sun

The 4077^th is flooded with casualties and many events go on while the group is in surgery. Hawkeye operates on a grateful foreign soldier, Henry has cramps in his hands, a movie is broadcast over the PA System, a wounded soldier writes a letter to his wife describing his sins, Frank almost removes a kidney from a patient who only has one, Hawkeye saves a patient from death (who later dies), the camp takes fire, Frank divulges personal information to Trapper, Klinger breaks a heel, a fire breaks out in the OR, and Dr. Freedman shows up for a visit.

Springtime (B-303)
Episode 54 (03×06)
Aired October 15, 1974
Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Alex Karras, Mary Kay Place, Greg Mabrey, Kelleye Nakahara, Gwen Farrell, Pat Stevens, Roy Goldman, Jeff Maxwell

After a long, cold winter, spring finally arrives. The spring brings some interesting events to the 4077^th including: Radar falling in love with a new nurse, Henry playing come golf, Frank and Margaret’s date, Klinger gets married over a two way radio, Hawkeye is being paid back for operating on a Marine, a solider in post-op won’t give up a cat, and Radar has a successful date.

Check-Up (B-312)
Episode 55 (03×07)
Aired October 22, 1974
Written by Laurence Marks
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Patricia Stevens, Jeff Maxwell

It is time for the camp’s routine physicals and the doctors have to check over the entire camp. Klinger tries to get his discharge by faking illnesses, Hawkeye gets to give Margaret her physical, and Henry examines Radar. Hawkeye finds it strange when Trapper refuses to have a physical. Trapper confesses he has an ulcer and believes he will be discharged only to find out he can be treated at the 4077^th or at Tokyo General.

Life With Father (B-302)
Episode 56 (03×08)
Aired October 29, 1974
Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Bill Christopher, Sachiko Penny Lee

While Hawkeye and Trapper are trying to complete a game, looking for presidents faces in a picture (hoping to win a pony, Father Mulcahy must officiate a circumcision on an infant of a soldier. Meanwhile, Henry receives a letter from his wife that makes him think she may have had an affair, after calling he finds out she went to a dance with another man. Father Mulcahy is distracted when he receives a letter from his sister confessing she wants to leave the convent so she can have children.

Alcoholics Unanimous (B-314)
Episode 57 (03×09)
Aired November 12, 1974
Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bobbie Mitchell, William Christopher

While Henry is away on 4077th, Frank declares the camp is dry and hides all the alcohol in the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper, claiming they are not alcoholics, go to Father Mulcahy to pray for booze. While looking in the supply room, the discover Margaret and her hidden stash. After getting drunk, Margaret, Hawkeye, and Trapper are caught by Frank. Frank enlists Father Mulcahy to give a temperance lecture during which a fight breaks out and prohibition is repealed!

There is Nothing Like a Nurse (B-309)
Episode 58 (03×10)
Aired November 19, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Loudon Wainwright III, Bill Christopher, Bobbie Mitchell, Molli Benson, Jeanne Schulherr, Leland Sun

When the camp is expecting an enemy attack, the nurses have to be moved to another camp. The men must do what they can to keep from going crazy in the nurses’ absence. Drinking in the Officer’s Club, Frank gets a call from Margaret, and Trapper and Hawkeye watch one of Frank’s films. When the air raid finally arrives, it is 5’Oclock Charlie dropping propaganda leaflets.

Adam’s Ribs (B-316)
Episode 59 (03×11)
Aired November 26, 1974
Written by Laurence Marks
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Basil Hoffman, Joe Stern, Jeff Maxwell

After having liver or fish for eleven strait days, Hawkeye wants spare rips from Adam’s Ribs in Chicago. After placing a take-out order and enlisting help from one of Trapper’s old girl friends, the ribs get to Korea. Hawkeye and Trapper have to go get them from a warehouse in Seoul where they are being held up in channels.

A Full Rich Day (B-311)
Episode 60 (03×12)
Aired December 3, 1974
Written by John D. Hess
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Watson, Sirri Murad, Curt Lowens, Michael Keller, Kelleye Nakahara

When Hawkeye acquires a tape recorder, he dictates a letter to his father. In his tape he describes: how he got the tape recorder, Frank in charge of Triage, a crazy Turkish soldier who escapes from OR, a pushy soldier demanding his buddy be operated on, Trapper’s gin recipe, and the loss of a soldier from Luxembourg.

Mad Dogs and Servicemen (B-317)
Episode 61 (03×13)
Aired December 10, 1974
Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Michael O’Keefe, Shizuko Hoshi, Arthur Song, Jeff Maxwell, Bobbie Mitchell

Hawkeye discovers that Radar was bitten by a dog that he feeds. Hawkeye plays psychiatrist to a soldier who believes he is paralyzed. When Henry and Radar are unable to find the dog, Hawkeye has to begin taking rabies shots. Finally, the dog is caught, and Radar can stop the shots.

Private Charles Lamb (B-310)
Episode 62 (03×14)
Aired December 31, 1974
Written by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Ted Eccles, Titos Vandis, Gene Chronopoulos

When some Greek soldiers are recovering in Post-Op, the camp is invited to join the Greeks in their Easter celebration. The Greeks provide all the food including a lamb! Radar, who is not pleased with the plan to cook the lamb, sedates the lamb and ships it to his family. The party is still a success when Hawkeye makes a “spam lamb.”

Bombed (B-320)
Episode 63 (03×15)
Aired January 7, 1975
Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Louisa Moritz, Edward Marshall

The camp is being hit by incoming shells. When the Army tells Radar the 4077^th cannot be being shelled because there are no enemy positions in the area, he finds out it is American artillery. The bombing scares the hell out of a UN nurse and traps Henry in the latrine. Hawkeye has to operate on a booby-trapped soldier and Margaret and Trapper get stuck in the Supply Room together. Just when the camp thinks they may have to bug out, the shelling stops.

Bulletin Board (B-323)
Episode 64 (03×16)
Aired January 14, 1975
Written by Larry Gelbart
Directed by Alan Alda
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Johnny Haymer, Patricia Stevens, Kelleye Nakahara

Henry gives another sex lecture, and Margaret asks Frank for a loan. Trapper writes home to his family about life at the 4077^th. After the same old routine and Henry loses a patient, the camp takes part in a picnic and barbeque. Henry is depressed over his patient while everyone enjoys the many festivities of the picnic including: music, food, a puppet show, a kissing booth, a sack race, and a tug-of-war match.

The Consultant (B-318)
Episode 65 (03×17)
Aired January 21, 1975
Written by Larry Gelbart and Robert Klane
Directed by Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: William Christopher, Robert Alda, Joseph Maher, Tad Horino

When Hawkeye and Trapper go to Tokyo to attend medical seminars, the meet a doctor and inform him they will not be attending. When the get back to the 4077th, they are surprised to see the doctor at the camp. He shows them a new medical procedure in which part of an artery is transplanted to replace a damaged one. After Trapper and Hawkeye go to a British camp to get an artery, they return for the surgery. The visiting doctor is too drunk to operate, and Hawkeye has to perform the surgery.

House Arrest (B-315)
Episode 66 (03×18)
Aired February 4, 1975
Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Mary Wickes, Bobbie Mitchell, Jeff Maxwell, Dennis Troy, Kelleye Nakahara

After punching Frank, Hawkeye is places under house arrest awaiting Court Marshall. Hawkeye is treated great with steak and a movie, and Radar wants to be taller. Margaret is inspected by a very important nurse who seduces Frank and accuses him of rape.

Aid Station (B-322)
Episode 67 (03×19)
Aired February 11, 1975
Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner
Directed by William Jurgensen
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Tom Dever

An aid station needs a surgeon, nurse, and corpsman. Hawkeye, Margaret, and Klinger go to the station. After a flat tire along the way, they arrive to find conditions to be very difficult. They all perform their jobs admirably while the members at the camp worry about the group at the aid station.

Love and Marriage (B-321)
Episode 68 (03×20)
Aired February 18, 1975
Written by Arthur Julian
Directed by Lee Philips
Guest Stars: Soon-Tek Oh, Johnny Haymer, Dennis Dugan, Jerry Fujikawa, Pat Li, Bob Gruber, Jeanne Joe, William Christopher

A young Korean man is working at the 4077^th seems to always aggravate Frank. Henry “gives” the young man a pass to see his wife who is going to have a baby. Hawkeye and Radar go and pick up his wife and deliver the baby on the bus trip back to the camp. The camp gives physicals to soldiers and Koreans wanting to get married. It turns out one young soldier is being paid to marry a Korean woman only to take her to the United States to be a prostitute.

Big Mac (B-313)
Episode 69 (03×21)
Aired February 25, 1975
Written by Laurence Marks
Directed by Don Weis
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Graham Jarvis, Loudon Wainwright III, Bob Courtleigh, Jeanne Schulherr

The camp prepares for the arrival of General MacArthur. The camp gets cleaned up, Frank burns books, Frank creates a scrapbook, Henry tries to convince Klinger to leave camp for a few days, and Radar decorates the VIP Tent. The whole camp is upset when the general only drives through.

Payday (B-305)
Episode 70 (03×22)
Aired March 4, 1975
Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Jack Soo, Eldo Quick, Johnny Haymer, Mary Katherine Peters, Bobbie Mitchell, Jeff Maxwell, Leland Sun, George Holloway, George Simmons, Pat Marshall

It is Hawkeye’s turn to be paymaster. Once he hands out all the money there is $10 left, and he explains to Radar how the Army owes him thousands. When Radar can request the money, Hawkeye gives it to Father for the orphans. An investigator arrives at camp wanting the money back. When Trapper wins a big poker pot, Hawkeye gives the money to the investigator to avoid being arrested. Frank buys a real and fake set of pearls.

White Gold (B-319)
Episode 71 (03×23)
Aired March 11, 1975
Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner
Directed by Hy Averback
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Edward Winter, Hilly Hicks, Stafford Repp, Michael A. Salcido, Danil Thorpe

When the 4077^th’s penicillin begins to disappear, Col. Flagg is sent to investigate and interrogate a man caught trying to steal the drug. Col. Flagg lets the man go making it appear as though there was a fight. Col. Flagg is caught trying to steal penicillin as well.

Abyssinia, Henry (B-324)
Episode 72 (03×24)
Aired March 18, 1975
Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell
Directed by Larry Gelbart
Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Kimiko Hiroshige, Virginia Lee, Cherylene Lee, Ray Poss

While in OR, Henry gets a message he has all his points and is being discharged. Henry packs up his office as Frank cannot wait to take command. Trapper, Hawkeye, and Radar throw Henry a big party at Rosie’s and buy him a new suit. After a tearful farewell for Henry, Radar has distressing news to report during a session in the OR.

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